Suicidal Hope
by Kish's Kittie
Summary: Tokyo 1953. She was just a street living peasant, and he was just someone to talk to. Even if he was an inmate... RyouxIchigo oneshot AU sakuuya's prize for winning my AU contest!


**A/N: This is sakuuya's prize for winning my AU contest! She requested that I write an AU of my own centered around Ryou and Ichigo, under four thousand words, and I did it! Here it is. :) I haven't really beta-ed it myself so you might find a few mistakes--sorry... Anyway, enjoy!**

**Suicidal Hope**

_xXxXx_

* * *

_Tokyo, 1953._

_Don't talk to people and they won't talk to you. _Over these past years that has become my philosophy. I have learned that in order to survive in this cold, cruel world it is best to stay out of other peoples' way. Leading your life according to that is the best way to live and be yourself. Well, at least that has become my only choice. It's hard to see anything else when all anyone sees you as is just another street-living peasant. Yet, then again, that's all I really am.

I can't believe it's been only five years since my family left this world. It's funny how just one car accident can wreck your life and hopes. Because just one car accident was all it took to take their lives away. But, I try not to think about it too arduously anymore since it's the past. And I've only been a street-living peasant for… what? How many years has it been now? Maybe… three, I'm guessing—I don't really keep up with dates anymore; all it is to me is feeble information, which I will never use.

I've come to be a loner over these past, maybe three, years. Searching for food has become my activity and only real leisure time. That is, since I have no friends to share other time with. I mean, who wants to be with a simple, 23 year-old, pink-haired, street living, food seeking, way beneath them, peasant? I don't really care anymore since I'm so adapt to it. Although, sometimes just being able to talk to someone would be nice, but I could really care less at this point in time…

* * *

I let out an exasperated sigh as I listened to my worn out soles walk against the concrete sidewalk of downtown Tokyo. I was on the busiest side of town, but as I walked through the crowd, I couldn't help but feel that it was just as stark as ever. Even though every so often I could feel people brush their shoulder past me, pushing their way through people to get somewhere. Then, I heard a loud rumble sound and I felt my hand rest upon my stomach. "Food," I whispered to myself. I knew it was time to go and crawl back to my dark alleyway which contained a well used dumpster—I could usually find anywhere from plain scraps to old potato chips; it sounds terrible, but to my grumbling stomach, that was heaven.

I quickly made a sharp right at the next cutoff, avoiding contact with a few people pacing quite fast. I found myself, once again, in front of an old, dirty, green dumpster that smelled of oil and fish. It was like my home—it was the only place I frequently visited in all of Tokyo. It was like my own little room between an old rented-out building and a brick built jail. There was actually a cell right above the dumpster—big iron bars held the inmates. Every now and then you could hear fights breaking out and screaming but to me it was just like listening to music—it was something other than beeping cars and people walking… On the other side of the dumpster was the city dam. Every now and then I would just walk over to the ledge's railing and look down below, wondering if I should jump—but I just never had the courage to.

I heaved myself over the edge of the dumpster and reached my hand in feeling around the half-full garbage. Strands of my tangled, maroon hair fell in my face as I felt myself get a hold of some sort of bone—fish… or maybe chicken bone. Sometimes they both feel the same…

"Hey are you looking for something?" An unfamiliar voice rang through my ears.

"Huh?" I pulled my hand out and looked upward from where the voice was coming from. I could see an arm sticking out of the inmates' cell above me. "What does it matter?" I answered.

"I don't know—I was bored so I decided to find something to keep my attention… and well—there you were…" I could sense the strong hint of facetiousness in the man's voice.

"Ha… right," I stuck my hand back in the dumpster, not really wanting to converse.

"Well what else does a jail man have to do right?" he laughed a little.

"I'm sure something better than talking to a street peasant…" I replied, pulling an old chicken leg out of the garbage I was searching; as I examined it I noticed it still had a little bit of meat left on the bone.

"Actually you'd be surprised," he said. "Although some of the guys in here might be a little more attractive."

"Ha," I laughed. "You should speak—you're probably some old, ugly…" I looked up at the iron barred window, feet above me, and locked eyes with a blond-haired God. I could feel my heart skip a beat; he wasn't exactly your typical inmate you'd see around Tokyo. His blue eyes would outshine sapphires. However, I wasn't exactly willing to admit that. I still tried to stand firm to my words.

"Some old, ugly what?" I watched as he smirked down at me.

"J—just leave me alone," I stared back down at my half eaten chicken bone.

"Well I just thought you'd be willing to talk with me, seeing as you're only about to eat, I presume… just thought you wanted a little company, Strawberry…"

My eyes widened a bit at his last comment.

"Strawberry?" I looked back up at the iron-barred window to see his eyes still staring down at me.

"What can I say? Your hair reminds me of strawberries… and plus, I don't know your real name now do I?"

I glared down at the alleyway's concrete ground as I thought to myself. Do I really want someone to know my name? I looked back up at him as he still awaited my reply—just assuming I'd tell him.

"What? Not going to tell me Strawberry? Whatever, that's fine, I don't really care anyway…" He turned his back towards the window and placed his hands behind his head.

"Good 'cause I'm not telling." I folded my arms, still firmly grasping the chicken leg.

"Suit yourself."

A moment of silence rested upon the area. I sat down with my back against the brick wall of the jail. I then took a small bite of my chicken bone, chewing it to perfection just before swallowing it.

"Ichigo," I stated.

"Huh?"

"My name—is Ichigo," I stated once more.

"I see," he said. "The name's Shirogane Ryou."

I stared down at my knees, which were covered by half torn black leggings. "Well it's… nice… to… meet you." I spit out. My social skills weren't exactly the greatest.

"I can't exactly say the same." He rudely replied.

I felt a bit of anger purr inside me but I tried to let it go, seeing as he was the only person I had talked to in a long while.

"So… what exactly… are you… doing here?" I asked him.

"Well I was kind of put here against my will. The police forced me." He replied with a sigh. I was assuming he was expecting a laugh, but I did not give him one.

"I meant, what did you do?"

"Ha, funny story actually," he answered. "Do you know you can get arrested by smart mouthing a cop?"

"You're in that cell, because you... back talked a policeman?" For a moment I thought he was a complete idiot.

"Well actually, I'm here because I _killed _a policeman… after sassing him." He stated smoothly, without hesitation. I assumed it was another sarcastic remark so I waited for him to correct himself but… _nothing_.

"Are you being… serious?" I asked.

"Yes," he simply stated.

"So you just, sassed a policeman and then _killed_ him?" I asked, thinking in my mind, _where do they _find _these people? _

"Actually, I killed him because he killed my parents."

"Pardon?" I had heard what he said but it hadn't yet clicked in my mind. I sat the chicken bone down beside me since I wasn't really bothering with eating at the moment.

"He had killed my parents ten years ago," he began. "Then, I found him, and terminated him." He acted as if it didn't bother him a bit to admit. There was no sense of shame indicated in his voice.

"So you knew it was him all along, but you just couldn't find him?" I asked trying to make clear sense of it all.

"Precisely," He said.

"Wow," I let out. "How did you… kill him exactly?" I paused waiting for some sort of gruesome explanation.

"Poison," he replied.

"Poison?" I repeated. "So how did they catch you and throw you in jail?"

"Because I stood over his pale, dead body as the police arrived—that is, after I called them…"

_Wow, this guy is a freak… _I thought. _Then, again, who am I to speak?_

"Why didn't you run after you poisoned him?" I asked with a hint of curiosity.

"Because I wasn't afraid to face what I had done. I knew I had done wrong and I was prepared to face the consequences," he explained. "I mean, I had spent years trying to find him, and when I finally did, my biggest goal was accomplished… I figured, what else do I have to live for now that my family is gone and my enemy has been annihilated?"

I paused for a moment to take in all that he had just said before I began to speak again. "Isn't there… a death sentence for the killing of a policeman?"

There was a slight hesitance before he spoke.

"Perhaps. At least I believe so," he said. "My trial is in a week or so, so I'll find out then. But if they threw the death sentence on me, I'd rather kill myself before they gave it to me…"

"W—why would you do that?" I asked.

"Pride, maybe? I don't know. I guess I would just rather end my life than for someone else to do it."

This guy was actually pretty deep. I had never met anyone like him before; he was so different…

"Have you ever… actually… thought about suicide?" I asked him with a slight shiver in my voice.

"Who hasn't?" He replied with a slight laugh.

I stared down at my knees again with no reply.

"I mean… it is human nature to explore things and think about things. It's only natural to be curious, is it not?"

"I guess…" I replied as I stared over at the ledge that led to the downward fall of the dam.

"But I think it best to be on the optimistic side of things, you know?"

"Yeah, I—I guess," I stuttered.

Then, I heard a heavy rusty voice speak. I couldn't quite make out what he said.

"Sorry Strawberry I have to go. Dinnertime I suppose…" Ryou said.

"Hey, I told you my name, so why do you still call me Strawberry?" I asked.

"Because it annoys you," he stated.

I rolled my eyes. The sound of cars and people walking set in again, so I figured he had left the window. I sat there for a moment just thinking about the first conversation I had had in like years… I mean, had I actually… made a friend?

* * *

Days past, and every evening, I would sit out by the dumpster and Ryou and me would talk about everything that came to mind. It was almost as if we had become close friends in just a few days of talking. My philosophy still stuck in mind and was still quite correct… but lately, I just hadn't wanted to abide by it. I think I actually, enjoyed speaking with him. Aside from his facetious comments every now and then, I had actually felt like I maybe… had a _friend_. The thought just stuck in my mind so clearly…

* * *

"Ryou, are you there?" I yelled up at the prison window. There was at first no answer… And then:

"Yeah," he replied back down at me.

I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"I saved you some bread from lunch," he stated as he tossed a piece of bread down at me. I caught it perfectly in my hands. It was a bit stale, but it was definitely better than what you'd find in the dumpster I normally looked in.

"Thank you very much," I said just before practically shoving the entire thing in my mouth.

"Don't mention it."

"So," I began as I licked my fingers clean. "Isn't your trial tomorrow?"

"Yeah, it is actually," he replied.

"Are you… worried?" I asked.

"Nah, not really. Whatever happens happens, you know?"

"Sure… I guess," I looked down with a hint of sadness.

"Why—are you, _worried _about me Strawberry?" he smirked down at me. I blushed a little.

"Psh, why would I?" I crossed my arms, too stubborn to admit that I actually was. He laughed a little before letting his smirk go.

"My trial ends tomorrow evening, so we'll both know what happens by then." He said.

"Hey Ryou?" I asked sheepishly.

"Yeah?"

"Would you consider us… friends?" I asked with a shade of pink creeping up on my cheeks.

"Well," he began. "You're the closest thing I got so… I guess we are."

I smiled a bit at his answer.

"Will you promise… that we'll always be friends… even when you're out?" I asked as I seated myself with my back against the brick wall.

"As long as you're still around Strawberry," he smirked. I just smiled because that was the very first time in years that I had felt this happy…

* * *

An equal day had passed and I hurried through the crowd of people of downtown Tokyo. I ran past the small shops on the side until I found the turn that lead into the alleyway. I pushed my body against the brick wall of the jail, as I looked straight upwards.

"Ryou! Are you there? What happened?" I yelled.

No reply.

"Ryou?" I called once more.

No reply.

"Ryou?"

Nothing…

I slid my hands off of the brick wall I had laid them upon. I stood there for a second and just stared into the wall. My body felt frozen. My lips crinkled up from the dryness of the air… because at that moment I _knew _what had happened…

I stepped away from the wall and stood there in the middle of the alleyway by myself. My legs stiffened. I then averted my eyes and stared over at the ledge of the dam…

_Goodbye world… because now, I am not afraid anymore…_

**The End**

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**A/N: Everyone knows what happened right? I think it's pretty obvious but yeah... xD Anyway, hope you liked it, please review! Keep in mind, this was my first attempt at an AU...**

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